Hey, all! Can’t believe it’s almost SUMMER time already! I have about one zillion things I would like to share on here like some new baking recipes and one of my favorite experiences with meditation, BUT, today I felt compelled to write about an experience I began last spring and ended last July.
I’ve posted before about how I had donated eggs last summer. I actually just had to go back and delete the word “my” as I have done so many times in the past when talking or typing about this experience. Yes, they came from my body, but I can’t really lay any claim to them after the fact, right?
Applying to be a donor seemed so easy at the time of signing up. Then, you find out there are a series of tests, exams, more tests, and physicals just to be considered. After a file is created and you’ve been evaluated, you’re matched with a family. It took (I think) two weeks for me to be matched after everything was said and done which is REALLY fast. All of a sudden it became this really serious and somber experience that I really didn’t anticipate. Of course I wanted to help a family grow, but I also was thinking of my future family and how the experience could help me/us. It, then, started to feel like a pretty heavy decision.
I’ve often thought about what would have been different if I wouldn’t have done it, but what I think about more often than THAT is, “What is up with that family now?!” If the procedure took and the woman became pregnant, she would have had a spring baby not that long ago (April, I think!) which is the exact same time I would like to have a baby of my own. A little Aries or Taurus….fire or earth! Spring is beginning to steal my spot of “Favorite Season” little bits by little bits each year….
I’ve thought a lot about what I would say to the family if it wouldn’t have been anonymous. I would also have a lot of questions. I don’t think any question asked or letter written would come off any less-creepy than it sounds in my head when I am going through the reel. It’s really a bizarre feeling now that it’s over, and I don’t regret it. But, I wish I knew more!
Thinking about getting to an age where I want to begin growing my family, all these feelings start floating around that somewhat shift into “what ifs.” Infertility is something that has affected at least one person we all know. I can’t imagine the feelings that are associated with it and I feel empathetic to those who experience it.
With Mother’s Day just passed, I hope all the mamas, mamas to be, and someday/somehow mamas find contentment and joy in their power. Whether it’s to raise their own or another’s in some way. What a powerful gift.